Treat 'em like dirt, they'll stick forever
|to the bottom of your shoe
|I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.|
|When chemists die, they barium.|
|Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.|
|I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.|
|I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.|
|This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.|
|I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.|
|I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.|
|They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.|
|We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.|
|Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?|
|Broken pencils are pointless.|
|I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.|
|What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.|
|I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.|
|All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.|
|I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.|
|Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.|
|A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.|
|The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.|
|Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.|
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